More than just an accountant

I can't believe myself counting my days in my office. I've even prepared a chart, highlighting working days, public holidays and the days that I would be taking leave. Alas! there are not many days left in this office. I hope I can still stay motivated to get some things done. So far, so good. I still feel needed.

I got to know this from an email my sister sent me. Look no more, success is just in the comfort of your home. Roof said : Aim high! Fan said : Be cool! Clock said : Every minute is precious Mirror said : Reflect before you act Window said : See the world Calendar said : Be up-to-date Door said : Push hard to achieve your goals

I told myself many times. And I couldn't take it anymore that I have to tell my son. He said, 'Yes'. If only I could tell them my genuineness and if only they could just have faith in me. Try me and if it fails, they can 'abandon' me. There's no long binding contract. Maybe, the timing is not right. It's the last quarter of the year and most would opt to take it slowly when it comes to studies. Have faith will succeed. Have patience will thrive.

My long awaited day has arrived. The first Saturday of October 2008, my first coaching session of JH and YLe. H was so lovely and supportive. Not only was he willing to sit down and be part of the group because I wanted him to learn together with the other kids. He was participative and enthusiastic during the session. Though he was a year younger than the rest of them, he was able to complete the assignments well. There were 2 different sessions lined up back-to-back at the request of YLe's mom. JH's mom obliged. During the second session which H was asked not to attend (this session is not suitable for him), he took his initiative to boil water in the kitchen. I could hear running filtered water filling up the kettle and later the whistle of the kettle confirmed his action. Though tired from late night the night before, I was smiling in my heart.

Why do I take up this venture? I've asked myself. Since, I am looking for something to work on which could potentially replace my day job and this one is practically 'capital-free' and best still 'risk-free' (if I am doing this part-time whilst still keeping my day job), so why not? A lingual challenge to me. Not commonly prevalent in the market, I suppose. If that's the reality, then a niche is what I'm eyeing. As long as the subject is something I have interest in, hopefully the work that comes with it would not discourage me. 'If you want to be extraordinary, you have to do something extraordinary that an ordinary person won't do'. I could do this if I have faith.

Today is the day I will attempt on this venture. I wasn't that well-prepared. But, I have promised and I must deliver. My sister was looking forward to today and in fact, had cancelled another clashing activity just to make today happen. (How come the eunuch is more concerned than the emperor?) Actually, I had been doing my homework and do some research internet. But, with the limited time I have to do so many things, I could not focus a lot of time on this. More so, here we are talking about a PMR (secondary one) and SPM (secondary four) level. And, this is one of the toughest subject, the national language, Bahasa Malaysia. Even though the 'students' are my own nephews, I feel the responsibility as well as the pressure to teach them. Well, the session went on quite well. At least, I know what I was doing. I had given some pointers to them. They seem appreciative and are learning something. I'm glad even though I was slightly 'lost' when both seem to want my at...

I am holding back the letter. At least now I know my work is appreciated. I don't want to burn the bridges. Since he had amicably talked to me and even recognised my overwhelming workload, we sort of agree that future would be better. My dream is still to do something of my own. This would not change and I have even voiced out the need to have a balanced family and work life. Anyway, there's no real hurry. Another six months or a year in employment would mean more buffer for future. I felt a little more motivated now.

I could finally throw in my letter. Before throwing in, there were stress, frustrations and fatigue. After throwing the towel, there were relief, hopes but uncertainties await me. If I were to stay where I am, hopes to realise my potentials are unthinkable. I wasn't able to do this for the past 12 years. I was finally able to do it. Somehow, it wasn't easy typing the letter even though I was yearning for a break. Well, I got to be accountable to four (this is including myself) very important persons in my life. Though the path may be rough initially, but I am looking forward to better lives, maybe not in the very near future, but definitely it's not going to be distant. The future of my kids lie in my hands. I cannot fail this time.

"He's a little bit country, she's a little bit rock-and-roll". Sounds familiar? The Osmonds were here to stage their one-night only 50th Anniversary Tour at Genting Highlands on 21 June 2008. Memories of Donny and Marie Osmond Show came pouring to my mind. They are the celebrity Mormons me and my sisters and I used to be crazy about this duo. I still remember we wouldn't miss any of their show on TV (those were the days when TV was almost THE only source of entertainment). Unlike other celebrities, they promote good and healthy morales. And, they are a bunch of multi-talented siblings who never failed to keep us entertained on a weekend.

Having a job for more than a decade and most of this is spent in the same organisation, how's this? For some, this may sound stable. I used to think this way too. I have a different perception now. I want to do something different where my talents are really utilised, shared and appreciated by more people. And of course, it must enable me to venture into a project that can sustain the family's lifestyle the same,if not better, than if I'm still having the same stable career. Many aspects have to be weighed. Realistically, there are mouths to feed and commitments to meet. And the inflation rate is something that has to be kept up to. I have a few things in mind. I just hope that in treading the path to realising this, I would be shown clearer ways to reaching it, by the Almighty.

Why people blog? The latest bug is lurking and penetrating to people from all walks of life, be they politicians, housewives (oh no, homemakers please as they prefer to be called due to their diverse duties), royal blood, retirees, entrepreneurs, corporate high-flyers, celebrities and more common people like me and some of you reading this post. A blogging family of father (the new or 'old' kid of the blog) and daughter , interesting. Actually, Tun Mahathir has been sharing his voices but this time he cleverly uses a different and wider platform. Each blogger has different objective/s. The bug got some into trouble , brings some peace of mind and even prosperity. The power of this bug has been grossly under-estimated until the government's ruling party's so-called unexpected 'defeat'. As for me, a better life is what I'm hoping for. For someone who used to sneer at blogging as a way to 'show-off' one's talents and 'announcing' to the wor...

In school, during the primary years, I always aim to be at the top three. I was naturally good then. I always passed with flying colours. But, funnily my recollection of my childhood doesn't include images of proud faces of my parents. Perhaps, they are not the 'show-off' kind or expressive. Somehow, it was natural for me to aim to be either number one or the least three. I wasn't racing with anyone, just myself. I have the fighting spirit in me that if I don't get to the top, I will lose. Studying or revising for my examination was never a problem for my parents. Under the guidance of my sister (surprisingly even though I have 3 older sisters, she is the only one who seem to be the only guardian), I was always seen to be a diligent kid.

I hope to leave behind my writings and words (that probably were not spoken to anyone at all) that my kids or even grandkids can read. Why not keep in a diary? But, a diary can get misplaced or damaged or whatever. With a blog, it can remain published or in existence (provided it's not removed or disappeared due to technical faults) perpetually, provided Google doesn't come up with some archiving system that puts old blogs to die their natural death. I hope they can read about life's challenges. I wish to drive home the positiveness resulting from the 'tragedies' or mishaps in life. I sincerely hope they can be spurred and motivated to fight in life. Everything is possible. If there's a will, there is a way. Though I'm still learning and putting this saying to real, I wish they (or anyone) can make it if they have tried.

I am proud that I'm me, that I was born to this family of mine. Not being born to a wealthy family didn't affect me and I never felt disadvantaged. Yes, sometimes I wish I was born with a silver spoon. I wished that my family can send me overseas to pursue my studies. But, I never blame my father if he is not able to get finances to sponsor my studies. I just live life as it is. I accepted the fact that I am not as lucky as some other richer kids. But, yet I never use this lack of privilege to affect my ambition. My ambition was to be someone successful in an organisation. When we were in Standard (Primary) 6, we were asked to fill out our ambitions. We were supposed to list the top 3 choices. My last choice was always the least ambitious of me. Either a secretary or a teacher. Accountant or Hotel Manager tops the list. After a while, I've decided what I wanted to be.